Still in Bongo

Wow!
IT has been over 2 years... and yes, I am still in Bongo!
You may be wondering... what is the big deal?
Well, let me just say - it is and has been a big deal! Can you try to figure out how many of waTz wanatafakari mchana na usiku on how they can take the leap and return back home? - let me just say... A LOT of them. and thus it is very big deal kuamua na actually kurudi "nyumbani".
Unajua tatizo ni: ukweli kuwa uamuzi huo ni mgumu sana. - Na hasa kama mtu umeweza
kujiweka sawa, una kazi yako nzuri tu, na you have finally figured out on how to do life... katika mazingira kama hayo, a decision to re-locate back to Tz - is a big deal my friend. Na ukweli ni kuwa, one should think of that decision as such!

Kwa upande wangu, mwanzo haukuwa rahisi. Tulitua Dar mwishoni mwa April 2007! By Mid August - binafsi nilikuwa tayari ku-pack and return back to America (where I knew how things work, and could live a life with a certain degree of certainty).
Things were "so hard" that I seriously question my sanity! Now I must qualify with a "hind-site" observation that; the "hardness" was primarily from my expectations /my mindset! Things were not working out as I expected... but my MINDSET made it harder to make anysense of what was going on.
Lets see...BY that time:
1: Tulikuwa hatujui container letu lipo wapi - ingawa tulipata taarifa limefika, na we did not think anything was wrong - until ilipofika wakati wa kwenda kukagua - only to go and find the container is "Nowhere to be seen" - yo can imagine our shock!
2. Vigari vyetu vilikuwa bado vimekwama bandarini... jamaa walikuwa wanadai kodi kama zao!
3. Hatukuwa tumejitayarisha na mahali pa kuishi (kumbuka tulisha hama - "for good"!), na tulikuwa hatupati nyumba ya kupanga iliyo-fit our budget na "description". Kwa sababu ya kuja na a "pre-conceived idea" of where I want to leave and in what way; it become impossible for us to find an ideal house. The fact kuwa every landlord wanted tomake extra cash (in $) coupled by a "whaky" real estate market didn't make things any easier. Kuna wakati ilibidi mimi na watoto wangu tulale katika hostel ya waroma - for 2 weeks!na bado jamaa walikuwa wana charge $35 and $45 per room. THAT WAS so hard to swallow! But it knocked some sense into me! INfact it was during that time that I knew I MUST change my mindset - otherwise WE WILL DIE!
hapo huja weka what we saw ourseleves as consistently struggling with the pace and the way things works (in ALL aspects of life); Wajanja wana ku"lamba" left n' right... i mean.. it was as if jamaa walikuwa wamepania ku "wahi vidola kabla havijaisha" - it was NOT a good experience!

Sasa ni rahisi kuona kuwa The reality of "home coming" was not all that rosy! And at that time it was very tempting to think and actually kudai "this place has no system" and "nothing works!". BUT kama kuna ukweli ni kuwa... THAT IS NOT TRUE...
THERE IS a system here (in Bongo), and YES THINGS WORKS! - it is just that they work very differently from what we knew how things works! Things works here!
Friend, I am convinced knowing this for sure is a deal breaker, if one has to make a successful re-entry! YOUR PERCEPTION on this IS EVERYTHING!

Probably, mtego mkubwa sana ni iwapo mtu uliondoka hapa ukiwa ushakuwa mtu mzima. Mtego wenyewe ni kwamba mtu unakuwa una "memory" of how things works... unakuwa unaelewaa "culture" ya Bongo etc.
Tatizo ni ukweli kuwa "culture" is a very dynamic concept. Culture IS NEVER static; na a mere fact kwamba umeishi katika mazingira tofauti, with a very different system, and a very different world view of things, hiyo tu ina tosha ku change so much of who you are, and how you see things; often without you knowing that you have changed at all. na kwa hiyo mtu unarudi hapa na uelewa wako.. only to find that "that" understanding actually is absolute - and does not work!
NI lazima mtu uwe tayari kukubali ukeli kuwa kuwa; ukirudi hapa, you WILL NOT be coming back the same person.This you must accept and prepare to face the consequence of that reality.

And so... if there is one thing I can say to all who plans to return home ni kwamba:
Think it through, na ikifikia ume amua kurudi nyumbani, YOU MUST also prepare and actually work on your attitude! Vitu hapa haviendi kama tulivyozoea huko ughabuni... and yet that is not synonymous to "things do not work" Ukirudi Bongo na mindset ya "things need to work this way" - utaumia. That is almost a guarantee my friend.

Having said that... niseme tu:
This is probably "THE BEST" decision I have made in my life. I am now used to life here, and to be very honest with you I LOVE IT! I mean really loving it! Of course hii haina maana U.S ndo basi tena.. infact tuna makazi na nyumba huko, inawezekana kabisa kurudi! Lakini pia ni ukweli kuwa east or west, home is best! I am now convinced; the trajectory of my life here is brighter kuliko nilivyokuwa US. Of course challenges hazikosekani - they are everywhere! Lakini kama ni future... inang'aa zaidi hapa kuliko nilivyokuwa U.S. Am I dilusional.. Absolutely NO.
How?... that is topic for another time.

Until then...
ciao my friend.

Ned